What would hurt more? - Living this life or ending it?

Such a morbid thought to dwell on, but I have often wondered this, day in and day out, for the past few years. Life has not been kind to me. I have lost many things in a short period - leaving me breathless, clueless, and... empty. I’m not weak, nor did I give up easily. I have fought well and fiercely before letting these intrusive thoughts find a home in my mind. But sometimes, life just hits you so hard that you find it hard to even crawl. I know my words don’t make much sense now. It rarely does without a glimpse of where it all went wrong.